Happy New Year maybe
I was thinking that this year I would finally be able to move forward. In the grand scheme of things I figured the majority of things were finished. Buuuuuutttt that was simply a dream. Apparently there is no end to this reality.
I found out that my exH took my DD2 out of state without notifying me (orders say he must notify me). He canceled her therapy appointment without notifying me (orders give me final decision making authority). He likely took her to see his sister. Which on the surface would be fine, except the judge put a no contact order in place between his nephew and my DD2, so he’s in violation of that. He has refused to allow my DD2 to contact me or her sister (orders say he must allow contact).
The difficult thing for me is that I have no idea where my daughter is. I have no idea who she’s with. I have no idea how she’s doing. It’s terrifying to know that she’s somewhere in the world and I have no idea where. He’s proven that he will cut me out of decision making completely regardless of what the orders say.
I suspect he will not show for custody transfer tomorrow morning. I suspect I’ll be calling the police. I just want it to be over. I want him to be a reasonable human. I want to be able to co-parent in an effective way. I want to know my daughter is safe. I want to know where she’s located at any given time. These things are not too much to ask right? Yet every time I ask for this I’m treated as if my requests are unreasonable and somehow inconvenient for him.
He doesn’t think the orders apply to him. He thinks he can do anything without consequences. To be fair, to this point that has been the truth. To this point he has gotten away with everything. The system is clearly biased against me, which is a drawback to living in a father friendly state. It doesn’t seem to matter that the father in question has admitted to traumatizing DD1. Because she is not the one in the divorce, it doesn’t matter that she has severe PTSD due to his behavior. They gave him complete access to DD2 because it didn’t matter (the court appointed advocate told me that).
I’m so discouraged. Every time I turn around and try to protect my child I fight an uphill battle. The very systems and institutions that are supposed to protect the most vulnerable instead continue the victimization process. At the end of the day it is my daughter who suffers at the hand of a man who has demonstrated over and over again that he is more concerned with what he gets out of it than he is in the safety and well being of my child.
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