Written by on 2022-03-01

tired and helpless

General Article

 I’m so tired.  Tired of the games EH is playing, tired of holding my 10 year old, I as she sobs because EH is refusing to allow her baby sister to come for her birthday or contact her at all, tired of not having my things, just tired of this whole thing.

I’m convinced that EH doesn’t even want D2 in his life.  He continues to use her to punish me.  At least that’s the way it appears.  The problem is that it’s only punishment if I feel guilty or change my behavior because of it.  It hurts me because it hurts my children.  They are the ones who are caught in the middle of this.  EH uses D2 to control.

That’s what this is all about.  Control.  Here is the latest excerpt of what I sent to the child advocate:

EH shows his absolute need for control to the detriment of D2 and everyone else by:
  • he refuses to certify readiness for trial (and has ignored the judges deadline),
  •  he refuses to comply with any of the financial components of the temporary orders, 
  • he refuses to cooperate with me or do any joint decision making with me
  •  he refuses to pay any bills that he doesn’t think he needs to pay, regardless of what the orders say,
  • he refuses to disclose who is watching A, where she is and how she is cared for when he is not available.
  •  he refuses to allow any contact between me and his mother, who I think is his daycare,
  • I believe EHs mother has the beginning stages of dementia and is incapable of caring for D2 safely. 
  • he refuses to allow D2 any choices in the clothing that she wears–he must pick everything
  • EH does not leave the house unless absolutely necessary which is why I know that he does not have any plans with D2 for Spring Break, despite telling me he has which is why D2 can’t come to D1’s party
  • EH is using both girls to try to punish me
  • EH’s love is conditional, as soon as it becomes inconvenient or he doesn’t have to perform for the court’s benefit, he will drop D2, and has already started by withholding financial obligations.
Yet none of this seems to matter.  
The abuse that D2 is suffering doesn’t leave physical marks, yet it is there just the same.  And the hardest part for me is that I have no way to protect her.  That helpless feeling I live with every day.  I can do nothing.  

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